Caught In A Web

Silence disguised
I watch you
Show me the hurt
that haunts you
would you despise the thrill
If all you hide were mine?

I can't hold on any longer
These feelings keep growing stronger
Echoes that deafen the mind
will bury my voice in their wake

Caught in a Web
Removed from the world
Hanging on by a thread
Spinning the lies
devised in my head

I've seen the path
the one you take
shows the truth
for you to make
This turn of phrase
we might not see
is the thirst of desire
found so easily

Try to push me 'round
the world some more
And make me live in fear
I bare all that I am
made of now
Attractive I don't care
'Cause even when I danced with life
no one was there to share

Does this voice the wounds of your soul?
Does this voice the wounds of your soul?


Caught in a Web
Removed from the world
Hanging on by a thread
Spinning the lies
devised in my head

Tried to live the life
you live and saw
It doesn't work for me
I bare all that I am
made of now
Attractive, I can't be
Inside the Dance of Life is one
I'll never hold to me

You can't heal the wounds of my soul.
You can't heal the wounds of my soul.
Caught in a Web
Removed from the world
Hanging on by a thread
Spinning the lies
devised in my head

Caught in a Web
Refused by the world
Hanging on by a thread
Spinning a cage
Denied and misread

Caught in a Web - Dream Theater

Pretty much communicates the state of my mind now...

.....

She Sees

She sees all that there is to see
And maybe she sees a little more
She loves to feel and she loves to talk
But pictures don’t feel; they don’t speak
They just say what they have to say

She pictures the change
She’s been trying to live again
But the feeling is gone
And she has no idea why
She thought it would stop the rain
But it never brought the shine

She had always wanted to belong
She wanted changes
But who’s to blame for the weird games
That played themselves out
She wants to know
Who knows?

She’s just a little girl
She’s been trying to make sense of things
Figure a way out of the mess
But she doesn’t know how or why
Something seems to come in the way
But she’s good
But she’s all good
 
.....
 

Average Joe

Welcome the Average Joe
Say how do you do
The world is twisted
And so is your brain
As you do
I do; do you do?
Resonating inside
Outside the world lies

A treasure of unknown
Fireflies in the night
Read the book as it lies
Open in search (of the kind)
Buy yourself some more faith
It just ain’t hard to find
You don’t have to fake it
To be the Average Joe

It’s just all allright
There are no faces hiding in the dark
You can let it go
Try and find your fine print
In the lines blurred

A treasure of unknown
Fireflies in the night
Read the book as it lies
Open in search (of the kind)
Buy yourself some more faith
It just ain’t hard to find
You don’t have to fake it
To be the Average Joe
……

Supposing You

Supposing you’ll stand in the way
Will it make sense to make way for it?
Who will be hit hard?
When the truth will hold address
Makes sense to avoid to feel
The way that I felt yesterday
But will you understand?

Make effort to see things through this maze
Be amazed at the way that it stands

Walking behind the truth
Is bringing me down
I need to feel a shot
Of what makes me feel
Alive inside an unrealistic dream
Will you walk me out, out of this dream?

Supposing some day you’ll laugh at me
I might not get the joke
But who’s to blame
For the humour that you bring
Might not be the one that I can see
.......

26 March 2009

Can anyone fathom my ferocity; the battles constantly waged inside me? But the illusion seems to be rather misleading, well sort of…but is perception so vulnerable to judgment? Opinion is not understood by many who hold it – there is always confusion marring knowledge from baring its soul…

But we always value what we hold dear, we protect it and try to preserve; we follow the cycle. The opinionated always see what others can’t see, they feel they can smell the way the world smells. Wisdom peeps through the cracks on the wall, besieged by the trappings of comfort.

I know a friend on the other side who thinks friendship is too sacrosanct for sex, guess he has never heard the term ‘fuck buddies’ or ‘friends with benefits’. I can only pretend to be besotted by the weird humor…

Don’t Breathe

I don’t breathe the air around me, or around you
I only swallow all that comes my way
All the wishes and the drops of rain
Bloodied sun slakes my thirst
Burns the will within
The will to crumble and the vision of tomorrow
Live on in the desire to embrace new reality

An ounce of gold
And the greed of a new generation
Will sex up the appetite for my show
Turn inside out, upside down
Search the inner for the outer
And get confused as the school
Will look like unknown little fishes
That swims in search of hope

I hate to love for fear of turning it ugly
Seeking solace in the pain of a new generation
And bartered standards of hypocritical reality
I fake it, I fake it
I always did, I always will
Teach me how to hate
And I know I will fall in love…

.....

Write Me

You might have your way of letting words flow
But I go only go by the language I know
I am not about to make amends
About all that I don’t understand
And I see no wrong in pushing you away
Thinking it’s all a waste of time
Caricatures abound in my head
Of foolish notions and ideas that break
Creaking and reeking with the stench of the dead
Blood let and let loose
Proverbial fantasies to boot
And the lack of rescue when all hope is gone
Alive, awake, broken and bored


“He was a rock n roll messiah, she was known for her childcare, the truth is gonna give up the world, if you can give up the stage” – Edward Kowalczyk

From Somewhere

Everybody comes here from somewhere
Everybody here is not a stranger
Maybe not a friend, but not a foe
Not one to rain on your days
As you find your way out of that haze
Of memories that lay claim
Over undying bounties of youth
Yours, mine, theirs

Right now it doesn’t matter who is the enemy
Before you, before me
Your freedom will not be stolen
Mirth will share with
Tears as they will cry
Just another from a you
To a me on the other side
Transform, transport, separate, support

Couldn’t possibly be good
Not to have a reason not to
Chair to sit or a door to open
When the fire will sear
The truth into the seam
Of another miracle
Sound of this voice
Will make a wish
That we and me were in it together


……

Yesterday's News

"Hello, hello..

I don't know why you say goodbye and say hello..

You say yes, I say no

You ask why

And I say I don't know..

No,no...

You say goodbye and I'll say hello

Hello, hello

I don't know why you say goodbye and say hello.."

......................

"Deeper than the deepest Cousteau would ever go.

Higher than the heights of what we often think we know.

Blessed she who clearly sees the wood for the trees.

To obtain a 'birds eye' is to turn a blizzard to a breeze."

.......................

Anarchy is not dead, it is not passe', it is in fact right here in what you might call a nearly anachronistic fashion.Usurping power to bring on another dominion of power , oppression and misappropriation is not the ideal,but to prevent your own persona from sliding irrevocably into the depths is the intent.Anarchy had never been intended to be fashionable, it has been made thus by a generational machine that barters its soul for everything that is a lie. And then, everything that is bartered has a shelf life, hence...

Society is already getting stymied by the parochial visions of its patrons. The only recourse to take so as not to let yourself become a victim to the machinations of the many, is anarchy. It is already defeated by its bastardization by the lofty ideals of the brave new world. To suffocate and suppress the voices of our children would only lead to the trans-mutation of something that still cries for its own voice. We have become lifeless, but yet to inject the poisoned essence of modern existence into them would be to unleash upon them a whole new uncertainity that could only be remedied by insanity.

The society we live in has been atrophied by the supposedly unsullied rituals of modern existence: respectability,regularity and routine. To adhere to and to exhort this by-word that allows access to the hallowed ground of a self-created heaven, would guarantee an endless cycle of life of conformism from which there is no escape. In circumstances of this nature, a dose of anarchy; enough to keep us from seguing into an uninspiring collective identity but just short of initiating disruption, is what becomes necessary. Maybe we have all lost the voice which cries for freedom, but lets not assasinate the voices of our future in our unrelenting efforts to turn it to our present, especially a present that we cannot afford to leave behind as a legacy, something that we have failed at keeping.....

.........................

I am listening to the song "Houses of the Holy" by Led Zeppelin and it almost feels epiphanous to be listening to it now. This song was a part of an album whose artwork was inspired by the book "Childhood's End" by Arthur C.Clarke, which is basically the story of a harmonious co-existence between an alien species led by Overmind and us humans.Its final chapter unfolds to the creation of a new race of children who mildly resemble the human race but are actually superior alien beings, brought into an utopian world. Metamorphosis of nature....welcome change, unwelcome reality...

Houses of the Holy

Let me take you to the movies. can I take you to the show Let me be yours ever truly. can I make your garden grow

From the houses of the holy, we can watch the white doves go

From the door comes Satan's daughter, and it only goes to show. you know.

Theres an angel on my shoulder, in my hand a sword of gold

Let me wander in your garden. and the seeds of love I'll sow. you know.

So the world is spinning faster. are you dizzy when you're stoned

Let the music be your master. will you heed the master's call

Oh... Satan and man.

Said there ain't no use in crying. cause it will only, only drive you mad

Does it hurt to hear them lying? was this the only world you had? oh-oh

So let me take you, take you to the movie. can I take you, baby, to the show.

Why don't you let me be yours ever truly. can I make your garden grow

You know.

 

P.S: Get stoned, fall in love with Led Zeppelin and savour your protest...

Been Long Now...

My high is wearing off now...been two months already. I see myself looking, reading and imagining more of the 'white situation'. Everything was white - grass, ground, water, people, conversation, discussion...

Now talks surface of another trip and I know this time I cannot belong...

I was reading about Tomaz Humar, a Slovenian soloist - an alpinist who was killed in November 2009 while climing the Langtang Lirung in Northern Nepal. I read of his travails, his experiences and his daredevilry, and I suggest you who are reading this, do read about him - and think about what comfort our armchairs and cubicles afford. A huge price to pay - for freedom, for liberation, for yourself, for truth - is that what makes us afraid? I would not know, not until I've gone back to the 'great white outdoors' again...

Grunge: Nirvana

I was listening to Nirvana today. Though my favorite grunge band is Alice In Chains, I have always approached Nirvana from an all together different perspective – the peculiarity of their (until of course Mudhoney happened to me) sound had always struck me; my approach to them lyrically came much later. In 90s Seattle, even though there were four other titans pushing the envelope in terms of avant garde music, their similarity to Nirvana or to any of each other can be purely attributed to similar geographical boundaries and prevailing ethos. Sonic variation and lyric-writing approaches were pretty broad – from Stone Temple Pilots through Alice In Chains to Soundgarden and Pearl Jam – they shared only an attitude probably and nothing else as bands, or so it seems to me. Any reference to the zeitgeist can be accredited to assiduous commercial agendas of record companies, or so I’d like to believe…

Coming back to Nirvana: Kurt’s creations could possibly be frowned upon by the highbrow, musical intelligentsia, but then again there can be no denying the fact that probably a few, if at all any, songwriters had tried or managed to capture honesty with as much power and irony as Kurt did. Kurt saw in a way that no one else did, no one wrote the way he did. Catharsis through expression had always been around, but creating a furious manic fury through music and words that was Nirvana, is another thing. Nirvana has been widely acclaimed as also been widely criticized. They have been overrated, been crowed-surfed and stage-dived to and been loathed and misunderstood as well. But for me, Nirvana had opened up a whole new landscape for me to swim in – a swim that has lasted this long. I am a fan of the sonic landscape of grunge…

Kurt did create a universe from which there was no escape, of truth that is real and hard to swallow. One could sing like Kurt did, if he refused to care about what the external thinks only if one were torn apart between expression and contradiction.

But Alice In Chains continues to be my favorite. But I will write about them some other time…

Bizarre Intro?

Mushrooms, mushrooms and more mushrooms - I wish to see; this boredom is killing me; pretty women can't keep me awake...drop the ennui bomb on me...


Reality then, history now; heaven then, hell now...